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If he wasn’t ok with it, I doubt we’d have lasted long at all. Then, in a terrible and miserable time of my life, I was lucky enough to find a wonderful man who made me laugh and listened patiently to all my crazy ranting. Just because something good eventually follows does not mean that one leads to the other. Not really, although they both have a lot of facial hair. They are each unique and special to me in different ways and I cherish both relationships and everything they have brought to my life. Like all normal couples do – we fight like cats and dogs, battling it out by stealing blankets, racing to bed, and throwing pillows across the room until someone gets their way. After a very scary and heartbreaking time in my life, one I thought would never end, I have finally managed to set myself back on my own two feet to walk hand-in-hand with a wonderful (and very attractive) new friend.Do you now feel like everything happens for a reason? We were going to spend the rest of our lives together, have babies, and eventually sit on our rockers on the front porch, muttering about the kids these days. From this I have surmised that sometimes bad things just happen. The line of thought that my first husband’s death was simply for the sake of my new relationship is a very dangerous line of thought – one that diminishes my first husband’s life and our relationship. Ultimately, every widow is different and the only person whose opinion matters is her own.Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.They even made the time to meet the new boyfriend and have dinner with us.
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Having kids can add a whole other dimension to this one and since Craig and I didn’t have any, I can’t speak to that situation directly. To me, this was a part of my life and part of who I was (and still am). For some reason, my boyfriend wasn’t too bothered and months later as things began to get more serious I began to phase some of my late husband’s things out of obvious display, more out of respect for my new boyfriend than anything else.
My new boyfriend is now my new husband and I don’t keep pictures of Craig up in our new home except for one in my office, tucked beside my computer monitor where I do my writing.
I wipe my slick palms against the thigh of my jeans, gnawing nervously on my thumb’s shredded hang nail. What’s it like to date again after you are widowed? And, to be frank, I had zero interest in ever being in it again. I fumbled, made some mistakes, and, yes, had some fun too.
So for all of you aching to know and just too , scared to ask, I will now attempt to answer all those taboo questions with as much honesty as I can muster. Like many widows out there, I was out of the dating game for a long, long time. I bypassed the entire “dating” phase of life and essentially went straight from high school to married so learning to cope with members of the opposite sex in a dating situation was beyond my comprehension at first.