Rules when dating a musician

She does not need to branch out and gain more recognition and individual praise from the music community.

That is what you are there for (see The Support Factor).

It makes up a large part of who she is, how she looks at the world and how she sees herself fitting into it. Instruments, amps, merchandise: They all need to make it to the gig. Her friend's, the local DJ's event, this party, that party; she needs to show her face around town. Louis, and the more people she knows in the local scene, the better. Even an ardent cynic will find the sight of a guy strumming away, all wild hair and tortured expression sexy as HELL. You don't get his Talking Heads circa reference but you laugh anyway and hope it slips under the radar. He can't fathom why you paid £50 to see Alt-J when he could have made a call and got you backstage. He simply cannot fathom why you'd willingly pay upwards of £300 to sit on a beach elsewhere as that would be passing up opportunities to hang out in artisan coffee shops and dinge-bars. His hand-to-mouth existence means the prospect of planning anything beyond the next three hours makes his palms sweat. They are the perfect storm of qualities we know will lead to heartache (ours) and yet still we allow ourselves the fantasy that maybe we will be his Penny Lane (we won't.) If you're dating a musician, here are some tips for navigating your way through… You will always, unreservedly and unashamedly come second. He'll have more intense relationships with his bandmates than he'll ever have with you. Heck, if we didn't need to be at work at nine, we'd also be tempted to sip rioja in the kitchen at 2am on a Tuesday night, chewing the cud over whether Jeff Buckley's finest hour was prophetic in the wake of his unexpected demise. Ok so consciously-uncoupling's got Gwynnie written all over it but when quizzed about their split, Chris Martin essentially bemoaned his inability to extract enjoyment from what was otherwise a great relationship because of "this". His existential crisis is the Camilla to your Charles and Diana. His neuroticism puts him at the centre of any number of imagined scenarios in which he's letting you down or breaking your heart or HEY WHAT A GREAT IDEA FOR A SONG! (also dont get so drunk that you embarrass your boyfriend or his bandmates) 23. Musicians are mysterious and flighty creatures lost in a poetic dreamscape. He, however, has lived the life less ordinary forever and as such cannot fathom the prospect of being enchained in the corporate routine of work/sleep/death. The self-loathing that accompanies his 'gift' is part of the fabric of his being and as such, no singular experience is lived outside its realms. Your trip to Glastonbury made him gag at the thought of meaningless escapism for average people to get off their tits and pretend they're bohemian for a week. be prepared to embrace your new life as the NOT-cool one.

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