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As long as your intention is to make a lifelong commitment to follow all the mitzvos (even if the relationship ends), the conversion is valid.The only thing is that if you're dating during the conversion the Jew has to be observant enough, at a minimum, not to make the Jew-to-be transgress in any way. I’m seeing some red flags here, and I’m wondering if your baby’s father might be abusive.Judaism stems from the mother's heritage and Jewish mothers are very important in family relations.For most Jewish men, it will be important to have their mother's approval before proceeding with a serious relationship.
Any Jewish man looking to start a family will value that kind of open-mindedness and dedication. Jewish men, like most other testosterone-driven creatures, like to make the first move.
I am DEEPLY consumed with the shame of being a shiksa, and am terrified to even call to make an appointment. I wish to speak to someone unbiased who I can actually learn from without involving their own issues. There is no shame at all in not being Jewish and a rabbi is not a confessor and cannot forgive your actions (nor those of the father).
Yes, I know my conversion would mean absolutely nothing in anyone’s eyes no matter how genuine I am. But, I still want to speak to a Rabbi to understand more from an unbiased standpoint, if only for my own emotional sanity. Edit: I do not want to speak to a rabbi for emotional support or guidance.
Whether it's on a dating site or in person, wait for the Jewish man to initiate contact.
It's another old school value, but it's one that can increase the odds of success.