Dating tips for noobs setting the mood with your woman
Control is a staple of sexual fantasies (including many women’s fantasies), but control at this level is antithetical to actual sex with another person.
If you have this level of control, what you have on the other end is not a person. There is nothing wrong with masturbating to control fantasies, but beyond a certain point the fantasy is not going to become reality.
The fact that women are actually evaluating men is a major point of insecurity.
Men tend to go way out of their way to deny the existence of women’s sexual agency, because if these men can pretend that women are not judging them, it means they do not need to worry about themselves: their attractiveness, their intellect, or whether they are acting like an asshole.
In many ways, men’s sexual/romantic interactions with men are very different than what I describe here, and of course the same goes for women’s interactions with women. Russ Meyer’s movies generally featured tall women with huge breasts having sex with… Because these movies were made in the 60’s or 70’s, they ended on a moralistic tone to avoid the wrath of the censors, with the loose women getting married or killed.
In fact, it is so uncomplicated that it cannot exist in the real world, where other people are complicated beings with needs and agendas of their own, and where all sorts of meaning attaches to sex.
I think men are obsessed with the Valley of the Dolls for three reasons.
First, the sexual accessibility of women seems to be a central theme: the idea that there are women out there who will sleep with you because you are just in the same room.
But he cannot, because he is too busy chasing a dream and cannot see what is right in front of him. The negotiation often takes time and energy, though other times it is quick.
At sex or play parties the negotiation may seem fast and painless, but there is actually almost always some leadup, usually either people scoping each other out from across the party or some kind of shared history in the scene.